It's all my fault when I make you pissed, because you frustrate me when you make me do something. I make you yell because I don't lay on my ass and play video games all day. I come home, relax, listen to you, do what you tell me to, try to do my homework, spend a little time practicing, then take your shit. I try to get the best possible grades, and I obviously have in the house. But if I sat on the couch and played video games, would you yell at me? Or is it because he's quiet and I actually run my own mind. He just has Grand Theft Auto and Call of Duty think for him.
Violence and laziness.
That's all he cares about. He doesn't care that you're upset, he cares that he has to deal with it. Do you know how mean he is? I try to be nice and tolerate you, but you're so frustrating because no matter what I do, it's wrong. I always have to do it over and over and over again. Whenever I have an opinion, you yell at me.
You screamed at me because I was concerned that you were driving in the middle of the street. I understand I don't have a license, but I obviously understand safety a lot better than you.
He can be your little puppet boy. Sit him down when you don't want to care for him. But he'll be the one that gets you sent to jail, in debt, and insane.
I don't care about him. He ruined everything I could possibly have. You and him were the reason I cry about everything. You're the reason I hate myself and everything I could possibly have. You're the reason I don't have what I used to.
When you need help, of course I'll have to be there because you burdened me with this guilt. You deserve to get help after what you when through with your parents, but I don't deserve to go through the same shit you went through with your brother.
But in my case, it's worse.
So here I am relapsing, with this depression that you didn't believe I have. Well the doctor and I both knew it. You just won't accept it because I'm not suicidal. I'd rather kill him, the one who is worthless than myself.
But I won't. This will only make me stronger. You will never help me get to where I will be. If you take credit, it will just be denied.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
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